why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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