my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
