Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
