just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
