What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
