i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
