elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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