You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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