its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
