Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
These tits shall not be calmed
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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