My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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