Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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