where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
