its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
