your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
