Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
