I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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