YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
