it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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