I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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