they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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