I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
