My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
