So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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