the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize