I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize