he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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