I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize