i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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