I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
