How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
