Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
