She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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