I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
