A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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