brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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