Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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