did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
