Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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