why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The power of my boobs compel you
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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