You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
