Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
