You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
