i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
