My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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