i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
