He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
