as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
