Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
