I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
