I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
