Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you traded sex for a burrito?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
