Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
false alarm, still single
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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