I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
