If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
