Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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