Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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