I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
