There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
