i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
