i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
